A question I’ve been asked is “How Do I Deal With Fear?”

Whether you are trying to start something new or get to the next level, many people try to ‘overcome’ or ‘conquer’ fear. To a certain degree, that may work for a period of time.

However, the question is really: How do you ride the fear?

When I first started out in business in my early 20’s, I never had it in my mind that I would ever speak in front of people. I was an incredibly shy and introverted kid. I had trouble speaking with people one-on-one, let alone speaking in front of an audience. I had incredible insecurity around that. I started reading self-improvement books, and there was a line from one of them that suggested that whatever you fear and don’t face will control you; whatever you fear and take steps to face, you will control it – or at least you will get better at how you interact with it.

I used to try to power my way through certain fears. Eventually, I got to a point where I simply tried to dance with the fear. I learned how to get into flow with it.

Since the fear is always there, treat it like riding a wave. Remember: Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly, in the beginning. Now, granted, if you suck at it, and you practice, and you still suck at it, and you practice, and you’re no good at it, and it doesn’t energize you – sometimes the best way to get out of a hole is to quit digging. There are certain times when giving up is actually smart. Instead, put your attention and energy on those things that produce for you. Take your talents and develop them to where you get really good, and ride the wave of fear.

Another line I heard was to do something everyday that scares you. Now, of course, context is important here. Don’t go run out in front of traffic, obviously. Simply take certain levels of challenges that force you to grow. If you do that, you build your confidence muscles. All of this requires courage. Courage never feels good. Courage is never comfortable. When my friend and founder of Strategic Coach, and 100K Member Dan Sullivan, was in the army, his sergeant taught him a valuable lesson about fear. His sergeant said, “Fear is wetting your pants. Courage is doing what you’re supposed to do with wet pants.”

There is opportunity in your anxiety. The things that cause you the most fear, the things that cause you the most pain, the things that seem insurmountable… those are the things that might have within them the highest likelihood of your future progress.

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