A couple of years ago, Joe did an interview with his friend JP Sears about addiction recovery.

While JP Sears is an absolutely hilarious and talented comedian and YouTuber, the conversation Joe and JP had was raw and real, delving into the need for connection, how to connect with yourself, and why Joe is focused on changing the global conversation around addiction.

One thing Joe talked about was “Separating Badness from Bad Behavior”.

Joe explained while addicts in the throes of addiction can behave badly, addicts are humans.

If you’re an addict, you’re attempting to feel better, and it is the mechanism you use to ‘scratch the itch’ that determines if the behavior will be harmful or helpful.

“The way I think about addiction is it is a connection disorder,” says Joe.

“What we’re really talking about here is how to CONNECT with others and yourself.”

Rather than looking at addicts as moral degenerates, it’s worthwhile to understand: Addiction is doing something you don’t or do want to do, and not being able to stop.

Whether it’s drugs, chemicals, or behaviors, it is compulsive, impulsive, and it has consequences that can be bad. It’s having a craving far greater than your ability to stop it.

People who don’t have addictions and see the crazy-making of addicts–drinking, drugging, gambling, workaholism, and so on–sometimes can’t understand it. It’s really easy to say, “Well, that person is dumb. Just stop doing the behavior.” But as Joe explains, all addictions have elements of binging and purging; Excess and deprivation.

“The ‘addict mind’ craves chaos; Not harmony,” says Joe. Again, it’s difficult for people to comprehend this. Joe talks about how when he was in the throes of addiction, the addiction was way more powerful than his ability to control it.

And what he was really trying to do was numb himself, because he was in pain. When someone is depressed, or anxious, or fearful, or incredibly lonely, or just hating life, there is nothing wrong with wanting the pain to go away.

If you itch, there’s nothing wrong with wanting the itching to stop. The challenge is the mechanisms we use to scratch the itch. And there are mechanisms people use to numb themselves because they are feeling DISCONNECTED.

JP then asks: “What if addiction is a symptom of us not being connected the way we need?” As Joe says, “The opposite of addiction is connection.”

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